Dear curious ones,
My Christmas celebration used to revolve around presents, booze, and mayhem, punctuated by lying around reading books and grazing on comestibles from little bowls. Then I took on the role of ‘mum who delivers Christmas’, which involved grazing on secret chocolate in the car, and ending up knackered.
Now, I am going for something a bit different.
Just for fun, let’s call it ‘conscious Christmassing’. Yikes. I know.
It takes me until the middle of December to warm up to Christmas, but I do love the inherent celebration of colour, and magic.
Plus, there’s the excuse to string fairy lights everywhere.
This year I have a list of wishes, that are not to do with throwing myself into self destruct party mode nor trying to be everything to everyone with tinsel on top.
My wishes are idiosyncratic, honest, and slightly painful to articulate. They are to do with connecting to the spirit of the season in healthier ways, that actually enrich my life and empower me.
I want stories. Tales of illumination. From ravens to mangers to trios of spirits to acting troupes to unlikely heros and glorious misunderstandings.
And I really would love to build one of these, in tribute to Northern Exposure. Click to see this enchanting snippet of loveliness via YouTube…
I want to wander among giant fir trees, to wrap my arms around their steady trunks and be small.
I want to lie with my kids underneath the tree, with all the house lights extinguished, except for the fire, and the fairy dancers sitting among the boughs.
I want to sit under the moon, maybe in our orchard of bare limbed summer fruit trees, maybe by the oranges.
I want to sip mulled wine, spiced, and citrus perfumed. I want to plunge my thumbnail into the orange rind as I pick the fruit, for the love of the scent on my fingers.
I want to inhale rosemary, bay, and cloves, as I stir concoctions on the hob, bring wide dishes of roasted loveliness out of the oven, and pick up too hot mince pies with my fingers. I want the surprise of a hidden red chilli, and fresh ginger kicks waking up my body.
I want to talk softly with my husband, finding moments to go back to bed, to laugh, sleep and dream.
I want to stir up intentions, sprinkle fresh thoughts, peek at marinating narratives.
I want to fling my letters up and watch them sail away like fire lanterns.
I want to abandon petty worries for a while. I want to be lifted into illumination, into love, into acceptance.
Maybe I can start this new year a bit fresher and wiser than the last ones.
So, it seems that my Christmas season is taking on a new form.
What are your wishes this festive season?
I want for you what pleasures you, comforts you, whatever brings light into your darkness, and keeps your toes warm.
What lights you?
Let me know with a comment. I would love to hear from you.
Thanks to Rachel Walker for the featured image